I have been asking myself why did I choose to travel down a road where I have never been, in complete darkness and not knowing where this road would lead me.
This question has been asked not by me alone, but several people as well. I was at a crossroads in my life. I could have gone down the same road and experience the same things, I would have seen the same scenery, people, places and events.
I could have stayed exactly where I’ve been and I would have experienced being paralyzed, stagnant, and confused. I knew if I stayed right where I was, I would not change anything due to fear of the unknown. Fear if is a feeling and emotion that will prevent you from doing what you want to do. Fear will stop you dead in your tracks, and prevent you from experiencing something new.
I was at stillness of trying to decide what I wanted from myself, my life, who I wanted to become and the people I wanted to impact. I could have easily retreated and raised my white flag and surrendered. If I would have pushed the easy button I would never found out who I was about to become.
As I stayed paralyzed at this crossroad for several days, Many thoughts were coming and going. Thoughts of turn around, go home and its ok nobody will know you went home with your tail between your legs. My ego kept trying to convince me to quit, and it was doing a damn good job why I should turn back, it almost convinced me.
My last decision to make was to go left or right, I started to weigh my pros and cons of who I would become on a journey of self discovery. If I do nothing, I get nothing. I already stopped growing as an individual, I was beginning to die inside. This wasnt the life I really wanted. I was where I was because I was chasing a money dream. And it seemed that the more I chased it, the further the money distanced itself from me.
There were days I remember working day and night for many years. keeping me from my family and thinking it was best for my family. This was the hardest thing to swallow, all the years that were lost due to my mindset. I realized my work ethic only distanced me from money and my family.
The reason why I made the right turn decision on this newly charted course is for many reasons, I did not like who I became, I did not like how my family relationships became so distant. I was disappointed with myself for becoming complacent. I knew that in order for things to change. I had to change. Not one person could do this for me, only me and me alone. I would not do this journey by myself, when I decided travel down a new road, so many people showed up in the form of mentors and guides.
The person I have become, was well worth the discomfort I had to go through to get where I am at today. I will never become complacent, I will continue to push my limits of who I think I am. Greatness is within me, waiting for me to bring it out.
Greatness is being released now.